Excruciating Suffering: A Personal Fight Against the Mysterious Suffering of Cluster Headaches

It began on a overcast weekday in the morning in the autumn of 2016. I was working as a teacher, trying to settle a new class, when a sharp pain sprang behind my right eye. It was followed by quick jolts, like lightning bolts. As each class progressed, the discomfort eased and then came back with increased force. Four times that day I left a teaching assistant with activities and ran to the staff bathroom to douse my face with cold water. I tried aspirin, but the agony remained unrelenting.

The attacks returned frequently that autumn, and once more in the spring, soon establishing an annual pattern. The autumn months were the worst, then the late winter. I could predict the pattern: aura in the shower, early pangs on the commute, full-blown pain in class by mid-morning. In late 2019, a GP finally sent me to a neurologist and I was diagnosed with cluster headaches.

Cluster headaches typically begin with intense pain behind one eye that lasts up to several hours.

About 1 in 1000 individuals are affected by the condition, and males are more often diagnosed. Cluster headaches usually begin with abrupt, excruciating agony focused on a single eye that reaches its peak within minutes and lasts for up to three hours. Attacks come in clusters, daily or several times a day, and are associated with red or watery eyes, drooping eyelids or face sweating. I have the episodic form, which arrives in periodic bouts; others have chronic cluster headaches, defined by the absence of extended pain-free periods.

What unites sufferers is the intensity. One research paper rated the pain at 9.7 10, higher than broken bones or pancreatitis. Another found a significant percentage of cluster patients experienced suicidal thoughts amid attacks; the number fell to 4% when they were not in pain.

One patient, 74, a chronic patient from Pembrokeshire, isn't surprised. Her episodes began when she was a toddler. “I would hurl myself on the ground and hit my head. That was put down to being spoiled,” she says. Her symptoms worsened through her youth. Alcohol in her adolescence, similar to many triggers, made things more intense. After having alcohol at her school leaving party, she recalls barely being able to see on the transport home.

Her relatives often mistook her episodes as intoxicated episodes. Understanding finally came from her father and then from her husband, her spouse. “I was very lucky to find such an exceptional person,” she says. Hobbs took office work after moving, but often hid her condition. She was dismissed from one job, partly due to time off during episodes. Her definitive diagnosis came in 2002 at a national neurology center.

Nevertheless, the inability to organize daily activities around unpredictable pain took its toll. She particularly hated being unable to plan social events, being seen as unreliable as a co-worker, and even having to be cared for by her children during the incapacitation caused by the most severe episodes. “It steals from you of the small liberties we don't value until they're gone,” she says. She remembers winning tickets for a major concert, only to have an attack inside a portable toilet.


Headaches have been documented throughout the ages. “The first description of headache originates from the ancient civilizations in 4000BC,” write experts in a publication on the subject. They attributed the ailment to an malevolent spirit who afflicted his sufferers' heads.

Ancient medical texts propose bizarre remedies for what some experts would describe as a migraine. In the middle ages, migraine was recognised as a separate disorder, with treatments including herbal concoctions to other, more superstitious cures.

It was a European physician who provided the initial comprehensive account of a cluster headache. In his writings, he speaks of a patient “suffering with a very intense headache occurring and vanishing each day at specific hours”.

The disorder were only formally classified by international medical societies in the late 1980s. From the mid-20th century to the 1990s, they were thought to be caused by a problem with a major artery which delivers blood to the head. Prominent experts in treating the condition explain this.

In 1998, researchers published the results of a research project for which they had triggered cluster headaches in patients and observed the episodes in a brain scanner. The results, published in a prominent medical publication, showed activation of the hypothalamus, which is in charge for human circadian rhythm, when patients were in pain, and a reduction when they recovered.

Despite such progress, identification remains slow. One man's attacks began in the 1980s and felt like “a balloon being inflated behind my one eye”. GPs thought he had sinus problems; he had multiple operations before eventually being correctly identified in 2014, after a physician looked up his complaints.

Specialists say wait times in diagnosing and managing happen because patients are rarely seen mid-attack. “You're exhausted and depressed, but not in agony,” a doctor says. He works by eliminating other common head pain disorders, such as tension-type headache, before confirming cluster headaches. A detailed history is essential: on which part of the head do symptoms appear? For how long? What season? Are there precipitating factors, such as alcohol? Certain features such as tearing, sagging eyelids and nasal congestion help verify the diagnosis. Once identified, patients may be sent to specialist clinics. But a lot of first arrive to A&E or are given unsuitable treatments.

A charity trustee, 78, has suffered from cluster headaches for the majority of her adult life, although she hasn't had an episode since recent years. When she was in her twenties, she had her teeth pulled because dentists misinterpreted her symptoms. She thinks the dental profession still need much more education. When another patient sought help from a charity, it was Chapman who replied. The author recalls calling a helpline during an bout in early 2021; a reassuring volunteer talked them through oxygen treatment and medication until the episode eased.

Official guidance on management recommend that sufferers are offered high-flow oxygen and/or a specific drug delivered by injection. No tablets or strong analgesics should be used. Preventive choices include a blood pressure medication, which reportedly helps manage the bouts of well-known individuals.

But leading neurologists argue the guidance need updating to reflect a clearer treatment process and help GPs avoid incorrect prescriptions. For periodic patients, timing is critical: “The length of the cycle dictates the treatment.” Short bouts with infrequent attacks are managed with abortive treatment only. More prolonged or more intense periods require preventives such as certain drugs, sometimes paired with steroids. Many patients also receive a nerve block injection during a bout – an injection into the side of the skull where the pain is that decreases nerve signals.

The official guidance need updating to reflect a
Amy Williams
Amy Williams

Aria Vance is a mindfulness coach and writer who shares her journey of finding tranquility through meditation and nature.